It hits again!

I woke up this morning, excited that it was Saturday and our family had no plans but to relax and be together. However, most of it was true, but there was no excitment in me. Today has been a really rough day. It isn't a special day, or an anniversary for any memory or anything, i'm just down, and extremely sad. I don't think I have smiled all day except for a few moments in the morning when Marcus was making me laugh. Even Mike noticed today that I wasn't myself. The past month or so I haven't really been talking about Brody, and I was just moving on with life. I haven't had any down days, and haven't really cried. But today, I am just sad. I was looking at my facebook account today and I have a friend who had a baby about 2 weeks after Brody was born, and she is constantly posting new pictures of her girl, and how much she grows each month. Every time she posts them, its a reminder that I don't have a son here on earth who is growing every month. I don't get to see him grow into his own personality, I don't get to see all his firsts. I am having a difficult being around babies lately and I hate this feeling, because I love babies and want to hold all of them, but I just get overwhelmed with saddness. I am wondering if I am into the deep sadness stage of grief. If thats even a stage. Who knows. All I know is that today has been so incredibly sad, and it hurts, because towards the end of the day I couldn't even put a smile on my face for Marcus. And that hurts me, because I still want to be the best mom I can for him. He deserves the best.
So tonight, I am just asking for a little prayer. I am asking if you could pray for comfort and peace in my heart. I know its okay to be sad, but its really hard on me and I don't know how to deal with it. Please pray for strength as I continue to raise my beautiful Marcus and be able to continually love him with everything I have, even though a piece of my heart is broken.
Tonight I will praise my Lord and thank him for everything He has blessed me with. Even in my darkest saddness, I can still glorify God and know that He is GOOD!